Monday, June 16, 2003

oh gee i couldn't see my page a while ago for like ... a week? and decided to shift it over to pitas.
http://sublimal.pitas.com
i think i prefer it over there ...
see ya guys over on the other side yea? :)
uh, and link me!

Thursday, June 12, 2003

met terese and grace after tuition today at mp library and i think it's really dominated by vj peeps haha.
well, we were SUPPOSED to meet at 9.30 am but everyone was home by that time.
sounds cheesey but well, 3 little pigs. haha *laughs at my stupid joke*
did some studying ... ate at starbucks as well! :)
i lyk the hot cocoa yummy yummy! and terese made use of her cardless atm for the first time.
came home and got screwed by mummy as usual.
she made some hurting comments but i guess i'm used to them?
i don't know, jux feeling jaded.
i jux wish i could hibernate somewhere cold so i can drink cocoa everyday.
hmm i rejected all phonecalls today so i could talk to him for a longer while..
but i got scolded by mummy ultimately. ah sigh.
i wished i could talk more. at least i feel ... hmm ... gd? :)
best thing that happened to me today. uh, besides terese, grace and starbucks. :)
*hahah i wun be 'jian se wang you' or u guys gonna kill me*
i *think* i'll be meeting him on saturday to get pop's day pressie.
he was like "would grace or anyone be going?"
i started laughing cos i thought it was a really cute question.
but grace has band. so there. pt taken? i'm keeping mum.
it has been a horrible week peppered with family squabbles.
and i don't seem to know what to get for pop.
aerghhh someone grab me and take me away!!!!

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

ooh tink i kinda screwed this up and i wonder from where can i pick up this mess hahah.
i feeeel lyk giving up eh =/
don't feel lyk blogging ...
worried for mummy cos i tink she's got some inherent psychotic disorder.
and im not sure if i can help

Friday, June 06, 2003

i'm drowning in a sea of guilt.. i'm really sorry my dear.
it really hurts to see u carrying this burden sorta when it is not ur fault. i'm sure it isn't.
it was an innocent gossip that had gone wrong. (uh maybe i shld swear off gossipping)
we never thought of the aftermath and repercussions that would follow..
i know nothing can be done to remedy this i just pray for everything to be alrite.
i'm feeling immensely guility i haf no idea what to say.
if there's anyone to blame i guess it's us.
i'm so sorry i promise i'll keep my mouth shut the next time.

sighx why isn't my mummy home?
grace is rotting her ass off in school -> i'm so sorry!!! it's 12!
wait for me dear ... be patient.

// shoot me. i'm a sinner.
oh freak i feel lyk fuck.
tho HE kinda made it better for me i guess ...
i dun wanna blog.

btw u knw who u are i'm really relally sorry for it okay?
i knw i said sorry to u but u kinda said it was alrite but i'm feeling damn guilty.
ah freak. i tink i owe damn alot of pp sorries.

it could have been a happy day if we hadnt broken up. i don't know but i jux keep tinking abt it. the first and last time we did star gazing at ecp.. counting the no of twinkles that seem to be directed at us. if only the niceties wld remain and the yz incident never occurred, wld we still be happy together? i wished i could stop tinking. erv didn't treasure me, neither did i. i know, he tried to be sweet and stuff but it's true ... his feelings weren't there anymore. perhaps we were jux deceiving ourselves, tinking everything wld be alrite and that we wld really make it. sighx. i remember how i made him promise never to leave me and hug him tightly, really afraid of letting him go. or how i snuggle up to him for comfort and stuff. memories ... they aren't meant to be forgotten, are they? but what's the point of not letting go, when u know there aren't feelings left and they're jux beautiful anecdotes coincidentally peppered with images of him. why am i so affected by a so called anniversary when it is of no importance to him anymore. why are my tears flowing when i know they shouldn. why am i wasting my time crying when i've got absolutely nth towards him anymore? i wonder why. i don't wanna fall in love again cos i don't wanna feel the aftermath of a breakup. i don't wish to know how to cope with guys anymore cos i'm jux afraid i'll make the wrong choice again. and more tears.

// i never thought it was so hard.. i always took it easy.

Wednesday, June 04, 2003

i'm down with a major illness and i think i'm gonna die.
it's true, but maybe i wun die of depression as terese has predicted.
the weather's really gonna kill me. eeeeekx.
ooh n i'm really happy to see u happy my dear happy terese :)

oh and he called me after i said i was dying.. lol.
and seriously i don't wanna see u laugh to death/squeeze your neck/faint with shock/-insert any other reaction here-
i still tink it's absolutely hilarious well.
u can laugh straight in my face i guess.
but i've got nothing to say erh my brain's fried.

// i don't feel lyk blogging i jux feel lyk dying cos my brain's halfway in space and i'm still stuck in earth with a BLEEDING hole. aergh!

*** try "where is the love" by black eye peas. yummy yummy name! :)

Monday, June 02, 2003

ahhh grace found out. hahah.
good God.
Bless me.
ahhh and i found out.
Bless me again.

Saturday, May 31, 2003

hmm got back a pretty long while ago ...
esplanade's great, i still love the ambience there and the library rocks:)
but i cldn't get my scores and got kitaro dvds instead.
and my lousy com can't exactly work due to some perpetual error or another.
ah but it was nice today:) i was actually HAPPY.
haven't felt happy for a long time, thot life was quite bad.
then i guess not, cos i'm really happy.
i'm not sure if it's the company or the things we did that left an impression.
but the thot of slacking enjoyably was great:)
watched bruce almighty and thot it was kinda cheap funny humour that only i would appreciate.
i jux can't seem to work my brains and i enjoy blatant muses.
hahah and was i really from mensa? i wonder ... my brains melted lyk the whale's or something?
hmm anyway managed to eat the candy floss i've been craving for so i'm really glad we went out
and i'm really glad i never wore my 2 inch flops or it'd haf been disastrous hahah.
ate chocolate coated strawberries and gave him 2.
he commented that it was sweet + sweet. ah, i wished i didn't feel ath i guess.
but i can't help it? neither can i imagine myself getting close to a guy!
what if he needs a mum more than a gf? i don't want a repeat of that immature possessive shmuck.
i rather go to my pals for help ...
realised i've gotten closer to my frens again after the breakup. kinda gd thing i guess, at least i'm communicating more with my pals.
and seriously i doubt guys are ever interested in girls' lives.
sorry if i was making an over generalisation.
life is good.. and fullstop:)