Saturday, April 05, 2003

what the hell, everything's going wrong today. im just so bloody pissed with the whole and i feel like fuck. first, i realised so many barbarians know abt my page and i have to shift just because i don't want so many people to know. then both cell phones broke down one me that i'm so pissed i can't study. what the fuck i'm supposed to sleep early tonight and i'm online again! =/ screw it, then kazaa broke down on me, jeffery didn't even say thanks for me helping correct his essay, mirc died again and the bloody connection's so fucking slow!
i msged ervin just now abt some math thingy and he was so freaking hostile. i mean, not that i'm flirting wif u or sorts right. i was really in need of an answer and he seemed the most probable person to come up with an answer and he just brushed me off like that. i was right in breaking up with him then, what i realised a month after getting together with him still persists after like ... almost a year. screw, damnit, fine. i'd no longer give a bloody damn about him. not anymore! and to think i was feeling all so guilty and stuff cos i thought i screwed up something worth. i realised, it doesn't matter. and what the hell, i'm actually affected by a guy like that. bastard. now to think of it i rather turn crooked. and bloody hell he's online now lyk i do give a damn. i just don't wish to talk to him and continue looking at cute pics of gays. lol that's so twisted.
i really think i'm going bonkers. then again i wldn welcome a normal life, i prefer having twisted elements in my life. :) maybe i'm just naturally twisted or something. perhaps i never straightened. then again, nah, i don't like girls. but i don't like guys as well. i just wanna live in my world of dreams ... say, hope that a guy would really be nice to me and understand every single need of mine and i'll fall deeply in love with him. *squeal* a guy with no guy pride and would really be sensitive. haha i'm dreaming. only girls would do that, bungs, actives, andros. but not guys. cos they suckkk.