Saturday, April 26, 2003

was reading the papers and they mentioned the renovation of the muesum. hmm, then i thot of the *last* time i spent time there. it was christmas. oh man the thot of it makes me wanna cry. =/ i mean, it was such a wonderful day and it was truly the happiest day in my life i'm serious. for once i felt really loved and stuff i never knew things would end in this way. i still harboured the thot that someday i'd be married to him - lyk, i'll be complaining and such but still loving him at the same time. sighx, guess life doesn't work out that way.

nobody said it was easy
it's such a shame for us to part
nobody said it was easy
noone ever said it wld be this hard
oh take me back to the start

damn i'll stop thinking abt it i'm sorry i've been nosey and reading other pp's blogs but i've really reached the conclusion that guys are heartless. yea i guess i'm over it and i'm sure i'll get over it cos i'm strong. i wished i were as heartless as i was back in ... hahahh tkgs?!
anyway went out with ian today. we were 'posed to study. he ended up studying comics and i, studying passers-by. lol it was a gd day for bird watching cos i saw 3 cute guys and a cute bung. =P uhmx, then we went to buy terese's present. i wanted to get sensi for her but i didn't want her to end up smelling lyk leona hahah. i guess i preferred kenzo and the saleslady was nice and friendly. but i'll get sensi for myself the next time =) hope ian is feeling better cos his sinus was giving him problems i kinda felt bad cos he was caught in a rain. aerghhx my brolly's wet and it's still stuck in my bag! quite an okay day i guess. thanks for the ice-cream =)

// the day was fine until i read the papers. it's awful avoiding pp whom u think are interested in you sometimes u wish they'll jux leave u alone. aerghx.

Friday, April 25, 2003

sighx what a sad entry. there's gp common test tmr and i can barely keep my lids up. =/ mrs koh managed to knock some sense into me today - if i continue being lazy i'll prolly get an F at the end of the year. and *yay*, F to my dreams to be a doctor as well. damn what's happening to my life? i thot it was fine a few days ago when i was ill and resting at home. guess i can't be lying in my sanctuary and continue depending on others to make my life. ah damn, i wished i cld.
math common test next wednesday and SAT on sat. i shot myself in the foot when i said i'd do damn well in a moment of anger. now i'm stuck in a dilemma i wonder if i shld study for SAT or math. yea, sometimes smart people do have to study for SAT cos they simply aren't as smart as they think they are. it jux occurred to me that i *was* a mensan and i shld be smart and doing well. why, something bad must have happened along the way to turn out dysfunctional. i wished i were more focused.
i'm a dreamer and i don't wanna get out of my world. what's the point of getting back to reality when i can't snap out of my reverie totally? sometimes i wonder if what i think has happened to me really happened. dreams seemed so vivid sometimes i kinda think they're true. sounds sick right? lyk something out of a book but i've come to realise i've got several personalities. aergh.
i hate talking on the fone with pp i don't feel lyk talking to especially they call me when i'm bz and at regular intervals. that's why i enjoy my singlehood. damn i'm becoming mean and bitter. but i really hate talking on the fone when i'm bz. sighs. i wished i cld at least have some control over my life. wierd, i've gotten to hate replying to smses and talking on the fone now. i thot it was a hobby. haha.

// feeling darn screwed. makes me wonder what's keeping my living when everything's going wrong. and people aren't making it better either. aergh. and for the first time in my life i'm totally broke. haha.



you're the virgin suicides. you're sad but pretty, and very, very dreamy.

take the which prettie movie are you? quiz, a product of the slinkstercool community.

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

hahah this is dumb. terese is next to me reading my blog and we jux skipped reading period again *uh-oh* this is fun, if only sch were lyk this all day i'd reali love sch. and not fall ill or something heheh. anyway i saw *botak* jux now. queueing up for chicken rice. argh wth what a way to start off a sch day man. oh yea, reached sch at 11 today. =) life's great man.
anyway i dun tink i'd wanna blog in sch anymore. =/ doesn feel gd.
*yay* i got my 6510. it made me feel so blardy independent that i don't always have to depend on mama =) maybe it's jux time to start doing stuff myself. i'm *almost* 18 years of age. oh no, terese's bday tmr and i haven't bought her present. aerghhhh. oh man i actually feel kinda wierd today dunno why. maybe my sports bra's too tight and it's hindering some growth haha. but i've never felt it before. feeling homesick tho. i wanna go home and sleeeeeep. =X
oh, terese is blogging next to me as well! *hello terese* lol okay that was lame. the guys are playing contract bridge over the net. well, just because they haven't got cards?! oh freak wtf. my eminem mail was flooded cos some mervyn guy had a delivery problem. i don't remember sending him no mail. *oops, i'm not supposed to swear* anyway both grace and terese are good gfs. i don't suppose i'm that bad either, but why am i BAD?! they prolly dislike me or something i guess. sighx. no swearing.
math's starting soon. i wished i didn have to go for S, but i'm such an ass to sign up and in fact, we paid for it. sighx, i wished i died, as i've always said.

// wow wow wow i'm actually quite plsed by this encounter. =)